"Every mouth you’ve ever kissed
was just practice
all the bodies you’ve ever undressed
and ploughed in to
were preparing you for me.
i don’t mind tasting them in the
memory of your mouth
they were a long hall way
a door half open
a single suit case still on the conveyor belt
was it a long journey?
did it take you long to find me?
you’re here now,
“ When I heard, I immediately flew back to California, and went directly from the plane to his mother’s house… I thought they needed my strength, but realized when I got there and broke down before his family, that it was I who needed theirs. His mother hugged me and said I am so sorry… I said sorry? You’re the mother who lost a son?… She said yes, but you lost your other half.“
— Vin Diesel
It’s a stupid, childish game: I’m sicker than you, I’m sicker and still functioning, I’m sicker than the sickest sick in the DSM, I’m sicker than sick and I get away with it because my version of sick isn’t sickness at all—it’s defiance of all this bullshit.
A stupid, childish game, and a smokescreen, too. Because when the boasting is over and you’re alone again, counting your heartbeats at three AM, you know you really ARE sick, and there is absolutely nothing interesting or valuable or boastworthy about any of it, and at the very core it’s just fucking pathetic, exactly the way you never wanted to be.
"My life is made up of ‘I’m sorry’. I feel like I have to apologize to people, to things, to life itself. It’s like, ‘I’m sorry to be here’. I don’t want to disturb anyone."
"Some days I woke up and got out of bed and brushed my teeth like any normal human being; some days I woke up and lay in bed and looked at the ceiling and wondered what the hell the point was of getting out of bed and brushing my teeth like any normal human being."
"I’m a paradox. I want to be happy, but I think of things that make me sad. I’m lazy, yet I’m ambitious. I don’t like myself, but I also love who I am. I say I don’t care, but I really do. I crave attention, but reject it when it comes my way. I’m a conflicted contradiction. If I can’t figure myself out, there’s no way anyone else has."
"I am happy. I think I really am. But then I get sad. And sometimes it overwhelms me how sad I can get."